Create Your Own Things That Would Be Tied To Your Identity and Uniqueness

You can only be you and no one else. Create Your Own Things That Would Be Tied To Your Identity and Uniqueness.

Dear friends, many of us have lost that which was supposed to have made us UNIQUE because we try to be copies of others, whereas we can create our UNIQUE IDENTITIES by deciding to be ourselves and no one else.
We might choose to emulate someone whose works we admire as individuals and as a society as a whole, but we can never be that person. If at all we do exactly what the person used to do or does, we can only be likened to the person but we can never be that person.

A couple of months ago, an Uncle complained about his wife, who has been in his family just for four years, but then she wants to compare with her co-wife(wife of her husband's eldest brother) who have been married for 15 and 20 years respectively.

The Just Married Aunty - JMA, whose husband works offshore, wants to have everything identical to that of her Co-wife, forgetting that before that co-wife became her imitative references, she worked hard towards creating that which made her(JMA) want to be like her.
Create Your Own Things That Would Be Tied To Your Identity and Uniqueness
Create Your Own Things That Would Be Tied To Your Identity and Uniqueness

The issue was that the Complaining Uncle - CU said JMA wanted a car, and since her birthday was not far, he bought her a red Rav4 and gifted her for her big day.

CU was expecting a kiss and a night of endless pleasure as his MERCI from JMA, but unfortunately, he got a spank of shock, when JMA rejected the car, saying she wanted the grey colour jeep her co-wife has because everyone was complimenting how good she looks in the car.

CU couldn't believe his ears. JMA abandoned the car, moved out of the matrimonial room to the guest room and started making life a living hell for CU, who is a member of this platform. Out of desperation, he contacted me, so I called JMA, listened to her own side of the story and arranged for a confrontational session.

When we all sat at the table, CU said he had noticed that each time he gave money to JMA for her upkeep, despite the fact that he had opened her a shop, she decides to only visit shops where her co-wife shops, buy the same colours of fabrics like her, to the extent that she who is as dark in complexion like Thatcher, has used cream to bleach her skin to become fair like her co-wife, but unfortunately for her, the co-wife is naturally fair in complexion, while in the cause of wanting to look like her, JMA has ended up with five different shades of undescribed skin complexion. Part of her skin is blue-black, another, yellow, another white, another red, another pink. Thank God for foundation and long clothes because eh.. Lord have Mercy.

I asked JMA, what makes her want to be like Aunty Co-wife - ACW, and she could not give me any tangible reason. She just wanted to be like the woman, who has successfully worked hard to reach the podium of admiration. I asked if she knew what ACW went through to become who she is today.

I advised that instead of spending time, energy and resources trying to imitate someone, it was better to WORK ON HER WEAKNESSES, DEVELOP HERSELF, and BUILD A PERSONALITY OR BRAND tied to your own UNIQUE IDENTITY.

I told CU that since she was refusing the car gift, he should just resell it, and use the money for something better because from every indication JMA was being ungrateful.

I schooled JMA about SELF CONFIDENCE and SELF DEVELOPMENT. I told her it is her personal effort that would make her distinguish herself in what she does, in an outstanding way, that others would look up to as a ROLE MODEL.
At the end of the confrontation, after condemning her mechanism of measuring her self with someone or wanting to become the person, I quoted the consequences, that were visible on her, like the skin bleaching that has left her with five different shades of Fanta-Coca, the loan of 3 million that she incurred without the husband's knowledge (a story for another day), just because she wanted to extend and paint her shop so that it looks like what ACW has, and a host of other foolish things that almost cost her marriage if God had not brought me into the matter, she would have been back to her father's house.

At the end of it all, the lense of wannabe fell off her eyes, and she saw realities in what I was telling her. She apologized to CU, took the red car, packed back into her matrimonial room, started performing her wife duties in humility, and is one of my best students today.

Dear friends, wanting to be like someone through hardworking is not a bad thing, but it is more honourable to build your own BRAND, that will resemble you and your uniqueness.

We have different brands of makeup products, MAC, MARY KAY, REVLON, etc..., though they are all makeup products, they differ in their brand names and the difference is clear.

You can only try to be like a person, but you can never become that person or his/her brand.
We all have different things in us, that when discovered, developed and used appropriately, makes us outstanding and UNIQUE.

What is yours? Find some quiet time and look deep inside you. Instead of wasting your energy, time and resources trying to copy and paste people in your life, try to find the things that you do better, and develop it your way, so that it can be identified with your UNIQUENESS. 

Copy-paste always has the author's right and originality. What is your own?

Good morning house.

Disclaimer: The contents of this website are for general information purposes only. They do not constitute our legal or professional advice. Readers are advised not to act on the basis of the information contained herein alone. Every situation depends on its own facts and circumstances. We accept no responsibility for any loss or damage of whatsoever nature which may arise from reliance on any of the information published herein without consulting a professional legal practitioner.

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