My pains with Ngassa – Story 3 – The Silent Patient Sufferer

One of UN’s favourite dishes was achu(taro), but he loved it more when I prepared it. He Used to put the soup in a 1.2 litter container, and put in his car and drank it in the office or when with his friends. So I made sure I pounded achu twice a week. On a week day, and a week end that he will stay at home.

That Wednesday, he called me around 3 p.m., and said after work I should go and prepare him achu, and I was glad when he opened his mouth to request a special dish, because I knew how much he appreciated my kitchen skills.

I left the office at 5 p.m., stopped at the market and bought whatever I needed for the food. By 6:30 p.m. I was home. Come and see how smart I was. Singing and pounding. By 9:30 p.m. I was done. Table decorated with one of my best table linens, best wine positioned, and everything set for my King. 

I called to inform him his dinner was ready, and he said he was at the entrance of our neighborhood, just 10 minutes away from home. Then his phone went off as I tried to reach him 30 minutes after he said he was at the entrance, till the next day.


None of his phones was going through. I called some of his close friends he earlier told me was with, but they said they lastly saw him at 11 p.m. when he told them I had prepared achu and that he was coming home.

The whole of that Thursday, no news from him, until Friday late in the afternoon when he called to say one of his friends Roger who was a Mayor had lost his brother in a car accident.

According to him, the accident happened that Wednesday night when he was almost at the gate, and Roger called him. They rushed the guy to Laquintinie, and were referred to the Yaoundé General hospital, where the guy died on the way, and since he is Bassa, they just had to go to the village at Nkanazockk, 5km from Edea, and there was no network. I asked him to extend my condolences to Roger, and he dropped. 

Just minutes after he dropped, Rogers’s wife called me that she and the husband will be celebrating their 7th wedding anniversary and she wanted me to come over and help her, and that my husband had our invitation. 

I promised her that I was going to come and help her out. I asked about the husband and she said he was fine, and that he just got home from work. I asked her to give him the phone and I congratulated him for the upcoming anniversary. He was glad and said he had kept my special bottle of Whisky. He asked about UN, and I told him he was fine. I did not want to expose him. We chatted a while, and said goodbye.


Yes! that was another big blow. I thought I could call a member of his family to explain, but they always told me that I was the preferred one because I was the one at home. His mum called him ‘King Bikin’ –Prince, because they were from the Bana Royal family.

In the Royal family there were about 13 wives and his mum was the 9th. According to their tradition, all the males had a senior person whose footsteps you had to emulate. If the one you are assigned to as mentor is a polygamist, then you must become a polygamist

Thank God his mentor was Ngassa Happi of SDV. He is a monogamist, and treated his wife like a queen. So I asked my in-laws that if UNH was UN’s mentor and a monogamy, why will they always hide under his countless sexual atrocities to convince me that he is a prince and will definitely not marry only one woman, even if I will be the Queen Mother?

I called the sister in Yaoundé, and explained ten different infidelity situations with her brother, which I have had to brave in silent pains, including the FAT LIE about Roger’s brother and she promised talking to him.

Apparently, she did call him, and he called me back. He said who asked me to call Roger? He even went further to say that Roger had been complimenting me as a beautiful woman, and he was suspecting that I have an affair with him.

God! UN was a twister. He could twist things, just to buy his way out in a web situation. I got angry and hung the phone on him.

That was on Friday evening. The whole of Saturday, I refused to call him, and he too did not call. Sunday we went to church with the kids and came back, had lunch and laughed together. ‘Poor kids, how I wish they knew what I was going through’, but it was not their fault.

Sunday 4 p.m. I was going to our women’s meeting at Bessengue. Around Camtel Bepanda, I saw his lemon green Mercedes, driving just one car ahead of mine. The car that separated us was a taxi, and thank God the taxi stopped to drop off a passenger, making him the next car in front of me.

He was inside with an Agatha. I dialled his MTN number and it didn’t go through, and then I dialled the Orange. Surprisingly he answered ‘Allo Cherie j’arrive’ – ‘Hallo darling, am coming'. I asked coming to where and from where? He said he knows am angry, but he was at a Supermarket in Bonapriso buying what I like.

Those who have been reading ‘The Reason I am Single and Happy’ can remember I said UN knew how to shop for me. He knew what to buy to make me happy. But this time around, he was not in any supermarket. His car was right in front of mine, with a fair lady inside. Calling me darling in front of her ok. He left home since Wednesday morning, and that was the only time I was seeing him.

I told him to look at his inside driving mirror, and look behind him. He asked why and I told him ‘Je suis juste derrière toi’ – I am just behind you. He took a quick look and tried to run, but there was a small comfortable traffic that he couldn’t overtake anyone. He had not dropped the call, so I could hear everything he was saying. ‘Sauve-toi, c’est ma femme’ – ‘Save yourself, it is my wife’.

Since he couldn’t run away in the traffic, he quickly parked the car just after Camtel Bepanda, jumped out of it, and ran across the other side of the road and almost got crushed by an upcoming truck, before disappearing into a small road. The lady too took to her heels, and I laughed at them in pains, seeing how they were afraid of my reaction, whereas I was still harmless and planning to react.

I parked ahead of his car, went inside, removed the keys, checked the booth, and yes there was a cartoon of goodies for me, a ladies hang luggage, I guess they spent the weekend together in a hotel, and her shoes she had forgotten in his car.

I transferred all those things into my car including his wallet, and called one of my sons Awoh to come and drive his car home.

Before I got home after the meeting, he was shivering with fever. I didn’t say a word. I knew he wanted to explain a lot of things, but I asked if I could give him some drugs, and he said yes, because he needed pity. I had preserved the achu I made on Wednesday. I fixed it that night, served him and gave him his drugs.


He was expecting me to shout, but I said nothing, so he said ‘Nshan dire quelque chose. Gronde moi. Crie au moins, mais ne reste pas bouche bouche bée s’il te plait’ – ‘Nshan(my native name) Say something. Scold me. Shout at least, but please don’t remain tight lip’.

That was not my business. I bid him goodnight and went to bed. It was late Sunday night and I had to go to work the next day looking fresh because I had and early Monday meeting.

He refused to jump down from bed in the morning, and when I was ready for work, I gave him Agatha’s things and asked him to take it back to her. He denied knowing her, that he was just helping her as a passenger.

Hahaha UN, but I left for work patting his back as a warning that I was not a fool. I left for work with a very brave face, but shattered and bleeding heart.

Disclaimer: The contents of this website are for general information purposes only. They do not constitute our legal or professional advice. Readers are advised not to act on the basis of the information contained herein alone. Every situation depends on its own facts and circumstances. We accept no responsibility for any loss or damage of whatsoever nature which may arise from reliance on any of the information published herein without consulting a professional legal practitioner.

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